I have not yet been tested, but I put myself at risk. This is the first time since 10th grade that I have been "single." I have had two serious boyfriends both whom I had known since about middle school. They were virgins both virgins before we dated. With both guys, I waited to have sex until I was sure we could completely trust each other and had really strong feelings for each other. I was cautious. I was careful. A couple months ago, I broke up with my last boyfriend. I had had enough of being in a relationship. I am only 21, and I had never been alone!

I was also developing a pretty large crush on an older guy from work, so I decided it was time I tried out being single. One night I went to a party with this older guy, and we were both drinking pretty heavily. He sort of invited himself back to my place (which made me a little uncomfortable, but I was really into him so I wasn't complaining). We fooled around for awhile, and before I knew what was happening he had completely undressed me. I realized (the naive relationship girl that I was) that we were not going to just make out, he had undressed himself too and was going to have sex with me.

My drunken state made it really hard to focus, but as he entered me without a condom my brain freaked out. Not only was I having sex with a guy I barely knew way before I was ready, but I was also having unprotected sex with him! And I knew his reputation from work. Let's just say the way he acted, this was definitely not his first one night stand as it was mine. My mind was going crazy, and I finally got the words out that I didn't think I could do this. He pulled out, apologized for doing something I wasn't ready for, and left. I went to the doctor the next day, completely freaked that I had had unprotected sex, a shameful act I swore I would never commit. I told them I needed to be tested for every STD. They gave me tests for all kinds of things and told me to schedule a pap smear with my gynecologist. But when I went to my gynecologist, she did not give me a pap smear. I told her I had a new sex partner, but I was so ashamed and embarrassed about my actions that I couldn't get the words out that I wanted an HPV test and a pap smear. I had so many questions and fears, but my doctor seemed so routine about everything that it put me off. I went to another doctor later for a follow-up HIV test with the intent of asking about an HPV test as well, but when I told her that I had had unprotected sex she just took the rest of my medical history and awkwardly uttered use condoms?‰ as I walked out the door. I want to be tested for HPV because I know my sexual partner on that one night is not a careful person.

I do not know him well, but I do know how easy it was for him to have unprotected sex with me. I am determined that the next time I go to the doctor I will ask about getting an HPV test. I want to be tested, but I never dreamed it would be this hard. It doesn't seem fair that I have to be stereotyped as the type of girl who needs to be tested for STD's every time I go. I have only had one sexual partner whose sexual history I didn't know! It was just one night! I just want people to drop the stigma. I don't encourage casual sex, but I don't feel like a bad person for letting things go too far one night. I feel badly enough that my sexual partner that night took advantage of my drunken state and isn't interested in me anymore. I shouldn't have to feel bad when I want to get tested too.

A woman in her 20's in Washington D.C.